How Parents can Help Young People Cope with Violence or Disaster

By Regina Garson, Magic Stream Publisher

Children may have an intensely difficult time and have a very strong emotional reaction in trying to cope with a disaster or violent incident. This is true even if they were not direct witness to the event and they may be very affected even if their only exposure is through news and other media coverage. For some, difficulties may be worsened by constant news reports of a traumatic incident.

As with any loss, they may experience feelings of grief, fear, isolation, anger, and loss of control. A change in behavior, appetite, and sleeping patterns is not unusual. They may become more irritable or act out their emotions in their play.

Although most children recover from an emotional trauma within a few weeks, others may need help for weeks or months. Parents, family, school, church, and community may all play a role in times of traumatic stress. Some children may need help from a mental health professional.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), offers the following steps that parents and family members can take to help young people recover from a violent or traumatic event.

After violence or disaster parents and family should:

• Identify and address their own feelings. As much as possible, do this before you attempt to help the young people. Look at this like when you are on a plane, in case of emergency you put on your own oxygen mask first. This is so that you do have the strength to help them.
• Explain to children what happened.
• Let children know:
-- You love them
-- The event was not their fault
-- You will take care of them, but only if you can; be honest
-- It's okay for them to feel upset

• Allow children to cry
• Allow sadness
• Let children talk about feelings
• Let them write about feelings
• Let them draw pictures

• Don't expect children to be brave or tough
• Don't make children discuss the event before they are ready
• Don't get angry if children show strong emotions
• Don't get upset if they begin:
-- Bed-wetting
-- Acting out
-- Thumb-sucking

• Give them extra attention
• Let them sleep with a light on
• Let them sleep in your room (for a short time)

• Bed-time stories
• Eating dinner together
• Watching TV together
• Reading books, exercising, playing games
• If you can't keep normal routines, make new ones together

• Let them choose meals, if possible
• Let them pick out clothes, if possible
• Let them make some decisions for themselves, when possible.

For additional information see:

• Children and Grief
• Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can Do (NIMH)
• The Depressed Child
• Helping Children after a Disaster

Copyright © 1995 - 2010 Regina Pickett Garson
All writings, graphics and scripts are copyright by the individual authors. Nothing on this site may be reproduced without permission of the individual authors.

No claims are made as to the reliability of any of the information provided or linked, sources often disagree. None of these pages are meant to be a replacement for professional help, but a resource that enables one to be a more intelligent consumer. You can learn a lot by becoming aware of different opinions. Don't be afraid to ask questions when it comes to your health, physical or emotional.

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